If you’ve known me (Nathan) longer than 5 minutes, you’re probably aware that I love dinosaurs. It should come as no surprise that my workspace is home to 50+ dinosaurs of various forms, shapes, and sizes. But these hand-painted porcelain dinosaurs are extra special to me. They were gifts of compassion from some of my church kids. As I was going through a really painful time of surgeries and recoveries that went terribly awry, these sat on the table at my bedside and reminded me that I was remembered and loved. Through years of severe health problems, these same church kids have regularly reached out with pictures, notes, and other forms of encouragement. I’ve been really touched and impressed by how I’ve seen them reach out in compassion not only to me, but to others in the community as well. I recently asked their mom, Stephanie, if she’d be willing to write about some of the things she and her husband have done to help foster such compassionate attitudes in their children. I’m thrilled to introduce Stephanie now as the newest contributor to our blog and to share her thoughts with you about raising compassionate kids in a self-centered world.
Merriam-Webster defines compassion as a “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it.”
No matter what the day looks like, your children are bound to run into hurting people. These hurts get easily lost in a world full of loud noises telling our children they deserve everything and need to look out for themselves. As Christians, compassion should be our natural response to struggle and pain. But if it is not exercised, compassion can easily get silenced by our sinful, selfish mentality. Chances are you’re just like me, a busy parent longing to raise compassionate children. Since we’re in this together, here are a few practical things that have made a difference in our family’s compassion journey.
Teach True Compassion
I know I have no chance of teaching compassion to my children if I don’t know what God says about it. And neither do you. Remember, compassion is a gift from God that grows out of a heart transformed by Jesus. We need to know His thoughts on the subject. Setting aside a specific time each day to learn about God and His plan for us is so important. What are we doing if we are not teaching our children those truths?
Stories of compassion are found all throughout the Bible along with specific teachings. Having regular family devotions with your kids creates a natural opportunity to guide them toward compassion. Choose a Bible story like the Good Samaritan, which can be found in Luke 10:25-37. Read the story as a family and discuss together how the Samaritan showed compassion in this passage. Discuss how this reflects the way God shows his compassion for us and encourage your children to respond by showing compassion in Jesus’s name. Another option would be to walk through the Fruit of the Spirit, especially kindness to help kids see how Jesus helps us grow compassionate fruit in our lives. Click the picture below for an already made, activity full, lesson on kindness.
Share Stories of Compassion
As we create space to speak meaningfully to our children about life and faith, why not take the opportunity to share stories of compassion with them? Personal stories can be the most meaningful, especially if they connect with the lives of your children. For example, years ago, when all three of my children were just toddlers, I broke my elbow. This meant no lifting, changing diapers, or carrying my babies. You can imagine my panic. God provided 40, yes, 40 women full of compassion to come to my home for six weeks, cleaning, changing diapers, feeding my children, lifting them into my lap, and encouraging my heart. When I share this story with my children, we all laugh over added anecdotes of uncooperative toddlers or the unconventional solutions to our six-week glitch. Once we’re finished giggling, I ask them, “How do you think we ever survived?” Then we talk about the compassion of women who saw our need and rushed to meet it. Hearing how compassion influenced a child’s life personally can help that child make a connection to its importance and challenge them to do the same.
Maybe you’re struggling to think of your own story of compassion. We have access to great examples of compassionate men and women who loved the Lord and spent their lives sharing that love. Have you ever heard of Margaret Brand or Ida Scudder? Women like Margaret, who loved and fought to find ways to better the lives of those rejected by society, or Ida, who took her medical knowledge and shared it with the sick and poor of India are exceptional examples. I would love my daughter to see their compassion and become inspired by their lives. You can find their stories by clicking the following links. These stories are written out in an easy format that is sure to inspire children to use their compassionate hearts for God’s Kingdom. And even better, no extra thinking required!
Give Gifts of Compassion
Here’s another easy one. Take a look at your refrigerator. If you’re a parent of young children, chances are this or some other location in your home is full of doodles, artwork, and crafts. Think about your younger child. Start by simply looking at the church prayer request list and allowing them to help you pick a craft that might lift the spirits of someone needing encouragement. But don’t stop there, it’s not only encouragement. True compassion also takes a moment to pray for the person with your child. Once prayed for, put the craft in the mail with a note saying the recipient is prayed for and loved. If you are able, consider loading up the kids and delivering the gift in person, along with hugs and smiles, and imagine how the day just changed for the person you’re now visiting.
I know you have a phone somewhere nearby. Technology is a powerful way to get a message of compassion to a recipient quickly. Take a photo of your children or of something they have made, maybe record them speaking, add a verse and your prayer for the recipient. This is an immediate way to show compassion.
Now focus on your older children. Give them the list of requests, and after praying through it together, ask them who they could show compassion to that day. I have found that when my children know the need before they make an item or write a note, that the results are much more personal. Making compassion a priority in this way can create amazing results! Now when my children create something, they immediately run through a list of names of people they love, have shown care for, or know have a current need. What a blessing! That is compassion blooming in a child.
Use Skills and Talents Compassionately
You know your child better than anyone else knows them. Each child has already been gifted with a set of skills and interests by God. As we’re trying to raise children of compassion, our children are trying to figure out what that looks like personally. Encourage your child to use the gifts you already see, the ones God has already given them to love people well.
Don’t forget, compassion will look different for every child. My oldest and most creative child, decided to make some sort of gift that would fill each member folder at our former church. She did this several times for a church of 300+ people because in her words, she “wanted every single person to feel loved.” My middle child was terribly shy for a long time. Through that season we found that mailing his artwork with love and prayers allowed him to show compassion without as much personal interaction. Now he is more confident, and quick with a hug or smile. I can now see his tender heart relating strongly to those in need of extra compassion. My youngest is more outgoing. He’s very active and loves helping. He especially enjoys when as a family we help with food drives, church work days, the Backpack program, and special projects, like Operation Christmas Child.
What about your child and their gifts? Do they love music? Have them sing or play an instrument for an elderly saint. Are they more sports minded? Encourage them to invite a younger or disabled friend to practice with them at the park or in the backyard. Is your child funny? Their jokes, antics, and time spent can bring a smile to someone’s face. The list could go on and on. Compassion is varied in its implementation, and we should be looking to encourage the growth of compassion according to our child’s God-given personality and interests.
Model Compassion
But there’s a catch: a child models what they see. If you are trying to teach compassion but are unwilling to model it properly within your own home, your children will only become confused and self-centered. Think about how you interact with your spouse, love your children, and speak of others. Those things will inform a child’s view on compassion much faster than anything else you try to teach. On the harder days, we all must remember that compassion is more than a nice thing we want our children to know. They need to see the value of it lived out in our own lives.
The world may be a self-centered place, but as Christians, God calls us to raise children of compassion. It’s our responsibility to teach them what true compassion looks like and to model it daily. Inspire your children with stories of compassionate Christians. Help your child use their God-given gifts for others and watch their hearts of compassion grow. As you encourage your children to use their gifts, you teach them to bless others and help them connect action with the feeling of compassion. I promise you that their compassionate hearts will bless you as much as it will bless others.
Stephanie McMillian is a homeschool mom and ministry partner to her husband, Aaron. She treasures her faith, her marriage, and raising their three children. When she’s not teaching at home or supporting her husband in ministry, she can usually be found hiking outdoors or enjoying whatever BBQ Aaron has smoking that day.
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